Diwali Ramblings !!!

Sometimes i wonder , life was way simpler one year ago. I have simply ran through the year without having achieved much. Lost weight , a few good friends got married and few others lost touch even without doing so. Till last year , i was careless, reckless,  I didnt need to care about people so much , i didnt have to run helter skelter to make sure i just finish at a respectable position in the marathon that i had started running last year. It was a hard time learning that " patience is a virtue" and implementation was far worse than the thought itself.
Five years ago on this very auspicious occasion , i had got a gift that i still cherish. Then life had a topsy turvy kind of a  turn and i was thrown around without my wish. No matter how much i tried to control , i was always at the mercy of people around me. Five years hence , in hindsight i have grown up , few bruises here and there , but i have learnt how to deal with life the way it comes. I have stood tall during the test of times and wish to do so every diwali hereafter.
Getting nostalgic on festive occasions isnt a great idea after all .
Missing home.. Missing Mom and Dad. Happy Diwali to one and all..

Cross-roads :) :(

How do you put it when you dont understand what you are currently going through.. ?
Career , friendship , family , studies and a lot more to balance and you see yourself brooding at crossroads more often than you think.

There are fellow travelers for all the roads but it is a hard decision to choose , with the fact being that you can only travel on 1 way at a time leaving behind all the other well wishers who chose to go their way. This sometimes puts your relationships in jeopardy as there is a prevailing notion of ignorance among the mates who you had left behind.

verbose it is.. isn't it.. ? but somewhere the reality is reflected in the words.. You feel like saying it openly but cant. not even with the closest of your friends. You tend to end up thinking worse all the time and doing even worse. There is no end to misery until and unless the world conspires in your favor and sets it right for you. So you understand the bottomline is dealing with time and patience is a virtue.
Until the cycle repeats next time .... :)

Current state of Mind

The -Ings of L.I.F.E

Neither all things are spoken.
Not every talk shared.
Neither everyone is punished
Nor everyone spared.

basic need for understanding
may be went above "demanding"
Need to learn to let go things
and to control those mood swings

friends , buddies and peers
would never understand the fears
its been a habit of being explicit
as to when something says "FIX IT".

enough playing on the back foot
its time to take charge
i need a placard which says
"your are no1 to barge"

with confidence on all time low
i feel like singing
and yes its time to understand the lyrics
"I get knocked down , but i get up again"
"And you are never gonna keep me down"

Wrote the above after a barrage of thoughts flowing in when i asked a friend about few things that i have been observing for past few days.. 

Happy or Sad !!!

They say struggles bring out the best in you..
Friends around you support you or not.. you ought to come up with something that can revive life for you.
As i have already mentioned in last few of my blog posts
you cannot expect people to behave to you , the way you want them to..

Sometimes I wonder if i should understand and reconcile with the fact that i need not try too hard to get things in place. They might fall into place themselves given the required time and a little understanding on my part.
Friends around you might think that you have changed and do not behave well .... but so do they for you.
And you find it a real challenge to remain yourself while the word around you is changing fast.
Lifeis really not what happens to you , it is something that you think more about and let it happen. the push button is actually in your hands. You just need to know when to exercise the control correctly.

Right now i am in midst of things figuring out what to do..
Hope to get a way out soon !!! 

A few questions

Expectations follow a sine wave..  Why ?
- enforced sine wave or natural

Why do people ignore or avoid you..

why do you feel down trodden even though you have all your friends around ?

Why are people able to mess with your feelings ?

Some introspections
- You cant make people talk to you , whenever you want
- People wont like you , the way you want them to.
- Dont bitch about others , you never know !!
- Dont try and push things too much.. they can fall around the corner and you want know !!
- Be a mime.. let people say things around you.. LISTEN and IGNORE.
- If friends ignore you , you are in trouble . But shall you invite more trouble by asking them why they did so?
- dont open your heart too much to people. they can know whats in there and mess with it.
- and last but not the least , reduce expectations even if it be on the behest of affinity/intimacy.


A lot more to add..

Ex-pect-(manifest)ations !!!

We , as human beings , usually have a habit of getting attached to our close friends.
the by-product of such affinity and attachment is that we start expecting from them.
This unduly raises the bar of performance for our friends , ironically unknown to them..

I am in the midst of the same turmoil since past few days.
When you expect something from your peers and it doesnt turn out the way you assume it to  , or people dont behave the way you want them too , you tend to get anguished by non fulfillment of your expectations.
Obviously you dont want to understand the fact that they wont know how to behave according to you.. rather why would they.. ??

So as they say .. everybody is going to hurt you one day or the other.. you just have to realise who is worth the pain.
Bear.. Persevere.. Be patient..
Let your friends be themselves..Respect the individuality..  and lower down on your expectations. Life , doesnt get better but becomes easy anyway..

P.S -: the title is a brain wave as expectations are more like manifestations of a wayward mind :)
Just another train of thought.. a barrage of such trains these days :P

Ramblings - III

I have been talking regarding a quote with a friend since past few days and we more or less concur that when applied to our lives the quote does come true most of the times -:

It says "Those who matter dont mind and those who mind shouldn't matter".

The crux of the quote is everybody has some shades of grey. If you care more about the person on a whole , ignore those intermittent spikes of unruly behavior and wait for time to bring the back to normalcy.
There are friends who would ignore you when they are down and stay away . You might repluse into similar actions by the reflective replusion that you may feel.. What do you do ? Go forward and bug them or remain silent and alow the time enough to get normal and come and talk to you.
Both the notions have their own fair share of takers.

I on a personal note and experience believe that if a friend needs to share something imp with you , he/she would do so anyway without you asking them time and again if things were fine with him/her. doing the latter can actually push things around but can also frustrate the person more if there is nothing serious as such.
I know this is like being defensive and playing safe but seems more viable to me all the time.

Also , another facet that i believe firmly in is -: " you cant make a person talk to you whenever you want to"
they wont know that you so much want to converse , or they might be into a sandpit of their own.
So cut down on expectations for a healthy friendship..